I have to say, Russell Brand has really impressed me talking about this on his youtube channel. This is such a huge thing to talk about. I'm not gonna lie, I honestly had no idea who Chris Cornell was until the recent news of his passing this week. Call me an uncultured swine, go on! Haha! My heart goes out to this man's family who are left behind and am sure that Chris has found peace now. Which nicely leads me on to my next point. Peace. It is what we are all fundamentally searching for. But it is right here in front of you as you read this. We live in a society that is programmed to keep thriving, keep making goals and fulfilling them, and making more goals and fulfilling them etc. On a slightly different note; This TED talk linked below, talks a bit more about how as a society we are all a little bit psychotic. We all have these tendencies. I honestly think that this is a result of the kind of modern society we live in today that reinforces the beliefs I just mentioned regarding making goals. So the consequences of this constant striving, constant "on to the next thing"; is the dissatisfaction with life that Russell talks about in this video.
We are never satisfied. We want more and more, become greedier and greedier. Never satisfied with what we have right here. In a way, (just to be devils advocate) I can see how the goal setting can be a good thing. But we are talking about excess here; and as the saying goes "Too much of anything is bad for you" It's good to push yourself, to strive for better. But it's also good to be satisfied that if you were to die today. This was the life you led. It mightn't be perfect, you mightn't have always got it right. But it is what you made it and what it has made you. There needs to be more openness about this topic. There needs to be more awareness and more help and support available.
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I have found that through the help of nursing and being a health care assistant prior to that. I am a lot more mature than my age.
Now my family would say something different. But I'll explain what I mean. Maturity doesn't mean that you are serious all the time and don't have any fun. I can still have fun, I can have a laugh and I can still say some silly things that make people laugh. Giving the illusion that I don't know what I'm doing etc. I have a lot of life experience compared to that of the average 25 year old. Not many people in their 20s have seen a dead body. Let alone tried to help resuscitate them. Not many 20 something year old folks have made the dying more comfortable, witnessed their last rites read out to them, blessings given out. Prayers said over the dying. Washed and cleaned a person whose spirit has since left this earth. Not many 20 something year olds have sat and said nothing and listened while a family member cries their eyes out. Leaving the floor open to anything they want to express and not attempt to sugar coat what they are currently feeling. It's a very sobering feeling to be around those who are dying. And I have talked about this sort of thing before many times. But it throws in a different perspective to your life. Any one who tells you it doesn't affect them is a liar. It makes you think about your own mortality. Some see it as a depressing thing to talk about and then quickly change the subject and put it to the back of their minds. I don't think it's a bad thing to acknowledge and process the concept that you will one day no longer be in this form. It makes you a stronger person all round. It's a popular thought from the beginning of time that if you talk about death or think about it a lot that you are depressed or mentally ill. I beg to differ. It allows you to face the unknown and accept it as fate. Acceptance of where you are at this stage in your life is also a great way to become more mature in yourself. It is very difficult especially when you don't like where you currently are. Be that career wise, family/relationships, financially, spiritually, faith, knowledge, how you handle stress. But acceptance of those difficult situations allows for you to grow more and thrive. The lotus flower is such a popular flower in Budhism, Hinduism, Greek and ancient Egyptian culture because of what it represents. The beautiful flower starts off in muddy, murky, dirty waters. It grows where it is, and it arises from the waters as a beautiful flower. If that ain't some deep shit right there I don't know what is. Your maturity is never actually measured by your age. But rather by how many stories you have. They don't necessarily have to be exciting stories of pilgrimage and travels. They can be experiences. And most experiences that people find cause them to grow are tough experiences that shape you into who you are yet to be. I know plenty of older people who are not mature. They may pretend that they are. But they have not really truly processed what any of this life actually is. They have many life experiences that have challenged them. But sometimes people don't want to grow from those experiences. Which I find to be a real shame. I suppose each and every person on this planet has a different purpose in their own life. Be sure to find yours. I remember working in a nursing home for a couple of years before I became a nurse.
I always felt sorry for some of the residents that didn't have any family of their own to come in and visit them. One lady had a few friends come to visit from time to time. She was introverted looking back and enjoyed her own company a bit more I guess. But I always remember thinking to myself "how sad, not having any family of their own" I imagined the regret in each of those persons eyes as they look at their peers and see their family come visit them but they themselves wouldn't have any visitors. Some couldn't have kids, others never married and remained single their whole lives. From then on, I always said to myself that one day I'd have kids (when I am ready) because I don't want to be like this. Living in regret because you don't have a family sounds awful. I still agree with this. Living in regret because you didn't have a family of your own does sound awful. But for different reasons. I am sitting on a train as I write this and the same thought came into my head from years ago. About being old and not having kids. I come from a different time to these people. Women in the 1940s era were focused primarily on creating a family and making a home. Women now a days (although I do agree that for most is a fundamental instinct for women to varying degrees) women are generally speaking interested in a career. This is evident by the numbers of women chasing having babies later and later in life. Of course this is generally speaking. There are always exceptions to the rules and there are plenty of women who chose to have babies young and rear a family. Everyone has different life goals. I think that both are wonderful things. The world needs more of each kind of person. But back to the older generation. For a lot of women to not be married by 25 was a thing people would have talked about a lot more than it would be today "why isn't she married yet?" "What's wrong with her?" Etc. So it would have been rather unconventional for a woman to not marry. And even more so for a couple to chose not to have a child. So some people will have some regrets when they're old and grey. Realising they'd like the company and that they're lonely. Now back to the present day where I'm currently 25. In some ways I think I can see where they're coming from. It's scary to get old. Not knowing what lies around the corner, "will my death be painful?" We don't think about it enough when we are young and are faced with it when we are old. Sometimes just having company from the constant reminder that we have one day less on earth can be overwhelming for some. It serves as a distraction in some ways. Some people chose to have babies because "it's the done thing" and "is what's expected when you're in a relationship/marriage. Some people do it because they want the company of a child and the reassurance that their child will come and visit them when they're old and grey. To me this mindset is selfish. You don't do something because "it's expected" or "you want the company of a child when you're in a nursing home" The child and you might have a terrible relationship and they may move away some day and never come back. Then you've brought a child into the world with selfish intentions that have back fired. Nothing in life is guaranteed. But another thing worth mentioning is that the child didn't ask to be brought into this world. Surely the whole idea of a parent is to bring the child up to be independent and have their own life. Yes absolutely family is important and I think it's awfully sad when a patient or resident doesn't have any family members to visit. But I think that the idea of having children for selfish reasons is equally as sad. For the parent and the child. Have children because you are ready, because you want to provide for a little life, watch them grow, thrive, learn, watch them teach you as you teach them about life. Please don't have children as a way of insurance that you will never have to be lonely. There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. Maybe spend some time alone today if you can. I've probably said it before. But nursing forces you to grow up in ways that are hard to explain. But I'm going to give it a shot.
I've wrote in the past about how difficult I find nursing mentally and how some days I feel completely drained. Hell, some days driving into work I can be tempted to just drive off a bridge. Please don't assume that I mean this flippantly either. Looking for a way of escape is essentially what it all boils down to. (Which is the most common denominator for most people who feel suicidal) Part of the trouble with that idea was that I'd end up in work regardless since I worked in A&E full time. But what I have failed to mention in previous entries is that I chose this career for the exact reason that I sometimes hate it; and that is, for the challenge, forcing me to grow, forcing me to learn and mature. It's taught me so many things I'd never have dreamed about learning. Not only in a clinical sense but also in an emotional and mental sense. My people skills have improved so much compared to how they were when I was in school. Most people could say this. However, not many 25 year olds have conflict management skills and are able to reassure people in their darkest moments. You need to be willing to be strong/get stronger as a nurse because you are the pillar for a lot of people to rely on. You are there for patients and their families, to provide information, to provide reassurance where appropriate. Sometimes your job is to shut up and listen to their concerns even when they are aggressive. But always be appropriate in your responses. You're there to advocate for them when they are unwell and something just doesn't seem right. They ask you to interpret what the doctor says because they maybe didn't understand and didn't want to look stupid, or they thought they understood but now realise that they don't, or they just had too much information for their minds to process. Especially if it's bad news. Now picture doing this for let's say 30 patients/relatives a day. On average 4 days a week. You'd easily do this for thousands of patients/relatives a year. It's a real balancing act. I don't get it right all the time but you learn on the job. You learn from your colleagues and you also learn from your patients and their families. Remember the example of you being the pillar I used a few paragraphs ago? That pillar can wear down. So although the lessons you learn from patients are valuable for your mental health in the long run. It can be a strain on your own mental health at the same time. I always recommend meditation because it helps you to face those things you see and the things you deal with most days. I don't always practice meditation everyday. But I do always practice mindfulness. If it doesn't sound like your cup of tea, try guided meditation for a week to get a feel for it. I personally love the "audio dharma" website. (Google it) and love to listen to Gil Fronsdale in the car on the way to/from work. Alan Watts is a very insightful chap also. Sometimes keeping a diary of how you're feeling, what you've experienced and how you might deal with similar situations in the future with what you have learned is really valuable for some people. Sometimes just acknowledging your mental health is in need of a helping hand is enough for some people to start looking forward. Everyone is so different in their experiences and in their own egos and personalities. So different things might work for different people. But I'd definitely start with meditation. This is a huge step in self growth and maturity. Having such responsibilities as taking on the role of comforter, advocator, advice giver, educator, etc. Means you need to be professional and instil confidence in people you have a duty of care to. You being the common denominator in these equations means that you have to acknowledge your own mentality and look after yourself. Something that isn't encouraged enough in the nursing profession (nursing auxiliaries, registered nurses, paramedics and medics alike) Today was lovely. Tonight however was a bit stressful.
I sat outside before getting ready for bed around 8:45pm just to get some fresh air around me to ironically help me sleep. I heard a buzzing noise and turned around to notice a slight hole in my grans roof and a very determined wasp trying to get in to that hole. It did run ups and everything. I was pretty sure that it was making a nest. My next question was should I tell Gran or not? I then realised that I'd be away in the morning and not back home from work until 9pm. This would mean that the problem would remain unaddressed until two days from I noticed it. So I figured that it needed nipped in the bud ASAP. I told Gran in a calm manner but that didn't help. She got a bit annoyed about this and wanted the problem sorted immediately. She went to kill the wasp which i must have warned her not to do 4 times before she would listen. I explained that wasps send out distress signals when they're upset for their wee mates to come as backup. Meanwhile my phone rang and it was Kyles brother Benj saying that future brother in law Ryan had tripped over a rabbit hole and had broken his ankle and wanted to know if I was working. I said no and asked where they were in the hopes that they might be near by that they could call round and I'd have a look at his foot for him. They said they were on their way to A&E. I asked a few nursey questions to get an idea of how bad it was. I told them I'd meet them there. (I don't know why on reflection because I couldn't get them seen faster/ do anything for them as I wasn't working) (I even realised this at the time but figured they've helped me when I got mugged so I'd like to be able to return the favour) I told them I couldn't be there long as I'm working tomorrow. Meanwhile Gran reluctantly went back into the house eventually after much coercing. It wouldn't have been safe for her to kill the wasp any way. She is easily spooked and would have fallen and broken her hip. Hands down 100% bad idea. I explained to her that we cannot do anything about it tonight as it is getting dark but to call someone in the morning. She suggested calling Richard our neighbour. I explained again that it's getting dark and he won't be able to see anything but she insisted I ring because he might do something. I rang Richard and relayed all the info to his wife. Who explained that he was at his sisters house and she'd give him a ring. I knew that Richard wouldn't come out because as I had already said. It was getting dark and there was no point him even having a look until it was daylight. I was more thinking that if someone who wasn't family told gran to relax and leave it until the morning then she might settle a bit. Plus as well Gran is a bit traditional and finds comfort in a man telling her not to worry as opposed to her granddaughter. Haha! I explained that I was going to A&E as Ryan has broken his ankle. I was then thinking that they had probably already arrived at A&E at this stage. And was wondering why on earth I was heading down to A&E only to wait with them really. Also knowing that if it was very bad he'd be in resus and only one relative is allowed in. Then I was thinking about young Benj who probably would need to go to bed soon as he has school in the morning. I thought that I could maybe check in say hello. Explain what would happen and then take Benj home. I rang Kyle as I had a missed call from him and told him the entire events that had unfolded in the last half hour. He was a bit frustrated that I had committed to going to A&E to do what exactly. I said that I understood what he meant when Ryan was in the right place but at the very least I could take Benj home. Kyle said that his parents could leave Benj home if it got late. I explained that I had already promised and it wouldn't be right for me to say "nah changed my mind" especially when I'm in the car now driving. (Side note: the phone was on the speaker) He didn't think it was a good idea since I wasn't involved and couldn't do anything anyway. I explained that I didn't want to back out now but that I wouldn't be staying for long. Kyle understood and let me get on with things. He's right. I knew he was right and I even knew from the outset that there was no point in me going but I wanted to help. Kyle tells me I do this all the time. I spread myself so thinly to help others. Just anyone who needs help at all. I go so far out of my way to help others that it tends to go unnoticed because it's so odd. Not that I help others for it to be noticed but I get what he means as I do have the tendency to help others then get no thanks for it afterwards and end up being used when people need things because "it's just Rachel" that's been the case most of my life really. He was calling me out on it. He also reminded me that I had work tomorrow and I needed to get 8 hours sleep. It wasn't that he didn't want me to help but he didn't see the point in me going when Ryan was going to be in the right place in the right hands. My being there wouldn't change anything. I felt so conflicted so I promised myself I'd stay for a little while then take Benj home and that would be it. Which I kept to this promise. Benj wanted to stay and help Jodie but I explained that once Ryan got his Cast on and his crutches he'd be grand to get into the car himself. I dropped Benj off home and here I am lying in bed. I honestly expected myself to be kicking myself for going and in some ways I am and in other ways I'm not. I shouldn't have offered to go. It didn't serve any purpose really. The only thing I did was ask if Ryan's name had been called for X-ray when he was outside having a smoke. Then left Benj home. That was it really. At the same time I'm glad I went and got doing something as small as that. I always do things like this, Kyle is right. I need to slow down with these things more. Take a deep breath and ask what purpose my presence would serve? And is it necessary? Poor Gran was fretting at home about this wasp. But there's literally nothing I could have done about that tonight. Nor cousin she, nor could Richard. It still would have been sorted tomorrow or thereafter. But I do feel bad for leaving her on reflection. I took the time to apologise for telling her and getting her anxious. Kicking myself at the same time that she wanted it sorted there and then. I told her not to worry and that we would get it sorted. I rang her once I got to the hospital to check in that she was alright. She told me she was and that she might just go to bed. Which I highly encouraged. I feel so much better for writing this out. I can be so silly sometimes and I guess this is a platform for me to express my frustrations, annoyance and epiphanies about myself. Lesson learned: the old saying "think before you speak" Ask yourself what purpose does my presence serve and is it necessary? Good to apply in a lot of things in life, isn't it? There's some things I want to write about in this blog but I just can't find the right words to express the thoughts that I have had.
I watched a program tonight that reiterated something that I've been feeling for a while. The program was called "Mind the Age Gap" on Channel 4. (In the UK) Really insightful psychological experiment where a group of young people and old people are living together in a house for 2 weeks to see how things develop. What relationships form. If any conflict arises. If so what are the causes of both. Etc. I found it really interesting and rather funny show (if you don't like crude humour I wouldn't advise you watch it) One guy is an ex copper. Racist views, homophobic, very traditionalist personality type and very conservative. He really thrives on being the centre of attention and being liked by everybody. But because of the arrogant manner in which he acts he isn't the most popular member of the group. He keeps saying how he isn't feeling like part of the group or that he can't be who he truly is. Which firstly made me think "well you have been yourself but you've read the body and verbal language of your peers and decided that it wasn't socially suitable to behave in this manner" Then the man proceeded to express his vulnerabilities where he just wants to be liked and accepted by everyone. Which is what we essentially all desire to differing levels. But more on that later. Meanwhile other housemates are slating how arrogant and ignorant he is. I could see from both sides really. This man is a homophobic racist and has gotten stuck in his ways. At the same time this man wants to be accepted by the group and feels isolated from everyone despite his attempts at joining in e.g by starting up a pub quiz in order to try and intergrate himself with the others. Being a traditionalist chap he envisions fun to go a certain path. But life teaches us that this isn't always the case. And you could see in the program that he was getting frustrated when the group were having fun in a different way to which he had strategically planned out. The division between the group made me realise that yes the majority don't get on with this guy and talk rather badly about him. (Some of it truthful.) But this guy is all of us. I think that a lot of people didn't like him in this social experiment because they haven't come to terms with the fact that they have the potential to be this man. We all have the potential to be evil, to have ignorant views on different things, to look down on other people. These people ironically displayed this fact by looking down on this gentleman. We all have similar tendencies to one another. Just to differing lengths and extents. Yeah everyone has their traits, quirks, warts and all. But we are all one. The human experience is all one experience shared by us all. Even writing that sentence doesn't feel like the full extent of what I mean to say. This guy although he was ignorant at times (he even addresses this in the documentary) he has vulnerabilities which we all possess therefore we are all one with this guy. He is us. It's always good to reflect on this when we meet someone that we despise or don't get along with. Tonight as I drove home from work after being on my feet all day in A&E.
I was driving down the road where I saw a few cars in front of me stopped. A dark figure was standing in the middle of the road. I immediately knew something wasn't right. So I carefully pulled up behind the car in front of me and stuck my hazards on. I took a deep breath as I stepped out of my car and knew exactly what was going on here. I stood up and called out to the girl to see was she ok? She was shivering and crying. So I walked over calmly and opened my arms to hug her. She immediately hugged me back very tightly, sobbing. I gave her a big cuddle and said "it's difficult isn't it?" She nodded and sobbed quite a lot. My heart really went out to this girl. She really looked very fragile and in such a bad place. The wrong person could have come along and completely taken advantage of this poor girl. I suggested that we come off the road and have a chat in my car. (I'm very lucky that this didn't end badly) She sat down in my car and we chatted. I explained that I'm a nurse and that she could trust me but also expressed the importance of how I would suggest not just following any Tom, Dick or Harry into their car. I introduced myself as did she. She is 12 years old. She completely opened up and told me how she is struggling at school to keep up with her studies. She felt so under pressure to cram everything in and get everything right. That she was letting people down and felt suicidal. I asked her very openly if she had made any plans in the past relating to suicide and she said that she had thought about hanging herself in the past. Me being a nurse couldn't help but ask some questions about her medical history purely to assess if this girl needed to be taken to hospital. I sat and listened as she told me about her mummy and how her mum has tried to help her. That her mum knows she has depression and is trying to help her even with the studying but it all feels like too much. She explained that her mummy feels that she is helpless. She also told me that she told a friend once that she had depression and the other kids in class found out and constantly made fun of her for it. My heart was breaking for this girl. I just wanted to make everything better for her. We must have sat in the car for about 20 mins. Before I suggested that I take her home. She seemed anxious but I reassured her that I'd take her to her door and have a quick chat with mum in a good way. She then agreed and was fine with that. When I knocked on the door my heart was literally in my mouth as I didn't want to get this wee girl into trouble. Or myself as I realised the potential for a volatile confrontation. I did my best to explain that the girl didn't have any bad intentions and that she has told me she is struggling and needs some help. I told her mum that we have had a good talk and she feels a bit better for having talked about it and that she said she has a good relationship with her mum. I wished her and the girl all the best. And I truly meant it. Some of my A&E colleagues would probably shake their heads at me for being so "naïve" but at the very least this was a cry for help regardless if nothing else. This girl needed someone impartial to her life who wasn't going to tell her that "she has nothing to be stressed about" that "she's only 12, just study and stop thinking you're suicidal". I am in no way criticising her mum. By all means it sounds like she is doing a bloody good job given the circumstances. Sometimes I imagine as a parent it can be hard to take it all in, that this child you have given birth to, provided for and cared for all their life is struggling to grasp the concept of life. Whatever that even means. The whole thing just felt so surreal to me. I phoned Kyle immediately after dropping the wee girl off home and chatting to her mum. I was literally shaking as this could have gone so differently. Kyle was so good in listening as I cried a bit. I could relate so much to how this young girl was feeling. To how she was expressing herself and how emotional she was. It just tugged at my heart strings. The whole thing has really got me thinking more about mental health. How quick are we to brush these kinds of concerns kids have under the rug? "They can't be stressed they're only 12! What have they to be stressed about? They don't know real stress!" Who are we to suggest that we know them better than they know themselves. They know what their capacity is for stress. I know plenty of folks who say that this is selfish behaviour. Well, what I say to that is "why the hell not?" It's about time that we start looking after ourselves. And self harm, suicidal tendencies and even cries for help much like this are a result of not getting the right help/not looking after yourself as a whole person. "Oh but they aren't thinking about those left behind. They're only thinking about themselves." I wish it was only that simple. If you could only have a glimpse into what people who are suicidal are constantly having to battle with you'd soon understand that they aren't behaving this way out of selfishness. They're doing it because the feel hopeless and that nothing can actually save them. That they are a burden on family and that their families are better off without them. These people are not thinking "I want attention and I want to make my family suffer so I am going to kill myself" and if anyone truthfully believes that this is the case. Really do lead sheltered lives. Sometimes religious passages alone cannot save you from this pit of despair. And it's easy to say "you need a stronger faith" if you have never actually experienced the true hellish torture that is your mind. You cannot understand someone or something if you have this mindset. Sometimes it is good to be open and honest. Sometimes all that's needed is a listening ear. I worked a 13 hour shift in A&E today and there was a patient who was dying.
I didn't have much involvement in her care. Only when I was needed. my colleague as she wasn't one of My colleague was looking after her as she wasn't one of my designated patients. But I looked at her very tired body and as I massaged her hands I thought to myself "you and I do not properly know one another. But you in this body have experienced a different life to me. You have a different family, different upbringing and different thought processes to me. But I respect and appreciate that you have lived a full life." When some people say this they mostly mean someone who has been outgoing and been very adventurous. I say this to mean "you have had a life where you have experienced severe pain and suffering yet extreme joy and happiness. With many memories that have shaped you're life" Everyone has had different milestones in their lives that have significance to them. Like an unrelated saying goes "one mans junk is another mans treasure". What one man may find easy another man may find difficult. What one man may find hard to face, another man may find he is able to face it head on. We are all so different yet so similar and that is what is so beautiful about sitting with someone who is dying in front of you. When you're faced with someone exiting this realm and entering an whole new one. It is a solemn reminder of how similar our paths are. Despite our different upbringings, beliefs, occupations, earnings etc. We all face the same inevitable ending. And I don't believe that should be as terrifying as the world makes it out to be. I'm writing this kind of for therapy but also to allow me to acknowledge my flaws and keep myself accountable for rectifying anything that can be fixed.
I am a terrible time keeper. If you're like me you are probably envisioning someone who is always late cause they slept in, someone who is lazy, half asses everything in life, everyone is surprised when they're on time. I will be honest, sometimes I can be lazy. But who doesn't have those tendencies, eh? My problem is, I underestimate the amount of time something will take. I don't take into consideration delays/hiccups. If I'm running late I will play down how late I'm gonna be for fear of upsetting the person I'm meant to meet. Which never works out. At all. To be fair, the other day the gas man was due to service the boiler. I told him I'd be ten minutes and I was. But that's the only time it's ever worked. I also try to cram too much into one day and am always determined to get as much done as possible in a day in order to save me time later. Never works out well. I'm always running around after other people, promising them I'll do favours for them, do messages for them while I'm out doing mine etc. Never ends well either. I have all the best intentions in the world. Despite this it always makes me look poorly organised with a disregard for other people and their schedule, with a sprinkle of laziness. It's the same with money. If someone asks me out somewhere, coffee, drinks, food, holidays whatever. If I have that day off, but I know that I probably am gonna be cramming too much into the day/month; then I will feel bad and say "yes" I will offer people money, buy them gifts if I see something and think of them. I over indulge in other people's birthdays and Christmas gifts sometimes. I'm sure you get the idea. So I have sat down and thought about this. I've decided I hate being this way. I can't go on being like this. It isn't practical, affordable or a good look being like the kid from the movies that always rushes around in school carrying far too many books and dropping shit everywhere in a sheer panic and rush. I got myself upset and heartbroken about this tonight. So Kyle helped me with some advice: (I'm always open to advice lol?!) 🔺 Make to do lists - keep the time frames realistic. You probably won't get to the gym, then grocery shop, lunch, coffee date with friend, and be able to cram some studying in before bed time. Try spreading it out throughout two weeks 🔺 Tidy house = Tidy mind I think I've spoke about this before in other blog posts. If you declutter your space, you also help to declutter your mind where you think and process thoughts and emotions. 🔺Savings - always have savings as a back up. I've been very good at this for a long time. Keep a separate account that makes it difficult for you to "reach" eg credit union. Set aside a certain amount each month. 🔺 Have a system - set an amount for you to survive on for a certain amount of time. Incorporate direct debits and standing orders for bills and essential payments first. Keep that amount minimum in your bank account. Anything else eg food, petrol, presents, classes, extra curricular activities, holidays, etc. Can only be paid out of that set aside amount of cash. This is something I started one time and worked really well. Then I forgot about it. I will try this again. |
AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
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