*Brace Yourselves, this is a long one*
This blog post is inspired by my own personal nursing practice with death, my own personal experience with the loss of many loved ones, and the recent death of Vegan Youtuber Joey CarbStrong's father.
Death is a bit of a difficult concept for humans to get their heads around. Because it is beautiful and humbling experience to sit with someone making that leap out of this consciousness. But it is a painful experience to let go.
There are a variety of causes of death all over the world.
Each death is different because we are all different.
I've lost some loved ones where I am able to "hold it together" emotionally on the outside (and by that I mean not cry). But there have been people I've lost and I haven't been able to help but cry.
Each circumstance is different. Each cause of death is different.
There are different stages shock that people go through.
I felt the need to clear all this up because there is no set single way of coping with death as all these factors come into play. Not to mention that we all have different personality types that have grown up in different lifestyles and that through nurture and nature we learn how to cope in our own individual way.
The reason I believe death is also hard to get your head around is because as the saying goes "all good things come to an end" and whether you'd consider your life a good one or not. All people experience some small good moments at the very least. Even pain and suffering is good, (but I'll get to that in a moment). Life in it's own right is a beautiful thing. The ability to experience here and now, no matter how painful, joyful, awkward, or scary it is. The fact that it is filled with variety in anything and everything is a beautiful thing.
Nobody likes to see anybody suffer. It's painful to watch, because it reminds us of our own fragility. It's a haunting reminder that this is a fellow being that is suffering... I am a fellow being. This could be me one day.
So being confronted with that thought right in front of your very eyes is an extremely difficult thing to start processing.
Death to me is another stage in the life cycle. It's so easy to say off the cuff like this. But I'm talking from a lot of experience; not as someone who has never seen someone die before.
Regardless of what you believe. Death is the inevitable transition from this life. The final curtain call. All suffering has ended in this life.
Some of the most difficult deaths can be traumatic for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes families can be left feeling like this all could have been prevented by stopping smoking, reducing the alcohol. Eating healthier by cutting out the dairy, meat and eggs.
At first some people might feel angry and the individual "Why didn't you stop? Why didn't you try to change?" Some might even take on that responsibility themselves "Why didn't I make them stop? Why didn't I make them change?"
The truth is; It is what it is. This was the path that was meant to happen, otherwise it wouldn't have happened. There is no use in blaming the individual for what has happened in the long run. Because it has happened. You can only deal with what is in front of you at the time. You can only have an awareness of those emotions and let them run their course.
The truth also is that you can't hold yourself responsible for the actions of others. All things need to be self-realised, that connection needs to be made by the individual and they have to want to change.
Each death holds within it a different lesson.
I don't like to use the line "everything happens for a reason" lightly.
Every trial and difficult time shows you how strong you really are and that you are so much more than just you're environment, where you were brought up, who you were brought up with. Who you live with. Who you associate yourself with. How you are feeling. What you are thinking.
No two deaths are ever the same. You will learn something different from each one that you experience in life. But before you start to learn, you have to deal with the initial shock and overwhelming variety of emotions that are placed on your shoulders first.
Then you will realise that everything is meant to be, because if it wasn't, it wouldn't be.
My yoga practice is going rather well.
I had the cold last week and took a break as I haven't allowed myself to recover after such a busy and rather traumatic month last month after getting mugged. Travelling to see boyfriend, veg fest, my birthday and working in between all of this.
Using this time just to recouperate and ride out this cold.
It's mostly gone now to be honest.
But other than this my friend Lucci has inspired me to be doing yoga twice a day which I was doing well at and I felt the benefits of it.
I will definitely be keeping this up as it helps me to restore balance in my life and feel like I'm learning how to calm myself and be at peace.
I'm struggling with forward fold. I don't know why. I feel like it's my spine or something isn't allowing me to straighten it. So I'm gonna try and push through the annoyance and just melt into the pose. I'll maybe look up tutorials on it too just to get some extra help.
As for joining a class... ummm... Haven't done that yet lol. Again just with how crazy intense life has been lately I haven't had nor have I made time to go to a class. But it is on the agenda. I'm very aware that we are half way through 2016 and I haven't been to a class regularly yet.
It will happen though :)
I am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :)