I was doing yoga this morning, and sometimes when I am just starting into my practice I feel dread for what is yet to come. I try and find ways to speed my practice up so I can get on with life. A little voice in the back of my noisy mind then said quietly "just be in this moment, don't think about what is yet to come"
I realised that this is such an honest truth, and transferable to life.
Dont dwell on the future and feeling anxious about all those future events.
That is the true yoga practice. You can only really be in this present moment. Time seems to move around a lot but you are always here.
In yoga its good to settle and breathe into a pose, particularly the ones that are tough and feel uncomfortable. But it's also important to recognise that some poses you might not be ready for yet. So you build yourself up in strength and flexibility in order to adapt into a new pose.
Sometimes the yoga practice is knowing when it is time to exit the pose if it is too painful. In a similar way; sometimes it is important to know when to leave a certain group, distance yourself from unhealthy people, to leave a certain town. To move on and come back/address the issue/process it when your body and mind are ready for that step.
The trap I have fallen into so many times with mindfulness is the perception that mindfulness is the ability to be numb to pain, suffering and just not feel anything. Difficult times are just water off a ducks back to you.
True mindfulness is true yoga, practicing being in this moment. If the moment is painful, crying, getting angry, feeling those feelings. If the moment is exciting, be in this moment, experience.
I lost motivation to keep going with pole there for a few weeks there and heres why.
i dont live two minutes down the road from my studio any more. It takes me nearly an hour now to get there.
I have been swamped with work and wedding planning.
but normally pole is my escape and my one hobby in life! It helps me feel good about myself. The travel distance has been contributing alot to my misplaced motivation significantly.
i love my friends in my current pole class. i love the class and love the teacher. I love everything about pole, but the drive there. I feel so down about the drive it sometimes impacts how exhausted I feel when I get to class and how little I want to actually move.
But yet when i look at youtube videos and instagram videos and photos (on a regular and daily basis) I feel such inspiration.
If I'm completely honest, its the fact that im dealing with and juggling so much lately, work, wedding, moving house, planning my future with Kyle, appointments and so on. By the time I get ready for pole and then I think about the drive. I'm just like "Nah mate"
I'd call it lazy but in reality it isn't. It is just pure exhaustion.
I will be back at it to my usual self with pole soon I'm sure!
My fear was that I would soon not go to pole class as regularly and that I would just stop going.
I realise now that I am still passionate about pole, I am just going through a difficult period of exhaustion at this present moment.
Yesterday, I had two naps and a 13 hour sleep. So that tells you all you need to know about how busy Ive been and that my first day of annual leave was spent sleeping and catching up on rest. I didn't even feel bad about resting. Usually I do, because I feel that I need to be at something or doing something.
Take a break, rest your little head from time to time. You don't need permission to rest. Just do it.
I've been reading this book by Thich That Hanh a Vietnamese monk who had a very colorful life.
I highly recommend it to everyone to read. It is so insightful, weird plainly with no jargon and it's so interesting. You learn a lot about yourself and the world.
My last entry was a passage from this book actually.
He is forward the different types of body's that we have.
So for instance we have our physical body, he discusses this and how we sometimes take it for granted and forget how amazing it is etc. The Buddha body which is another phrase got someone who is awakened and who is working for awakening other beings. The dharma body or spiritual body which is derived from the Buddha body. By cultivating our awakened state. Then there's the community body, other people with a similar mindset and understanding. A place of sorry and refuge.
The body outside a body, hour we influence the world eg where you are recorded or documented somewhere. Be it a film, recording or a piece of writing. You've extended yourself from a body to a non body. The sixth body is my favourite, the continuation body. This suggests that you leave an imprint and evidence of your existence everywhere and everyone you come in to contact with. We are continues in our children and continuations from our parents who are continuations from their parents and so on.
The seventh body is the cosmic body. We are made of non human elements. We are made of the earth.
The eighth body is the ultimate body. Beyond all perceptions forms and signs. When we get in touch with everything. I think this to mean when all these bodies are realised to their full potential and are intertwined. The author describes how everything is connected. The wave is not separate from the ocean and vice versa.
He describes everything as "inter-being" all these bodies are connected at many levels. I find it all so fascinating!
It seems like everything is separate and not connected at all. I am not you who if reading this. That is the mind and ego creating a story. It's amazing to realise that we are it. We are everything and everyone. You cannot be separated from your mother and father biologically, they cannot be separated from you. This goes back many many many generations.
I'm probably not wording this as eloquently as Thich himself! But that doesn't matter really.
Definitely look into this book if you are interested in learning about what all this around you really is and what is actually going on.
if you're interested click the button below to order a copy from amazon. I'm not sponsored in anyway, I just think this should be read by everyone! Thank me later!
I am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :)