"You're too soft" I hear this at least once a day So sue me if I'm compassionate and caring towards others. The fact that I like to maintain the peace does not mean that I am naive or just let people walk all over me. I can see the bull shit. You can't pull the wool over my eyes. My problem is that it's a very fine line between being assertive and being rude. I'm not always sure how to handle things that require an assertive tone of voice in a professional manner. Without losing the rag and being uncivilised. It's something I will learn with experience. But people telling me "you're too soft and we need to toughen you up" isn't gonna help me realise that any faster. In fact if anything it is going to delay that growth. In much the same way as saying "cheer up" to someone who is feeling the weight of the Earth on their shoulders with stress and anxiety. Telling me; someone who isn't sure how to be assertive whilst maintaining that professional boundary to "toughen up" is quite frankly unproductive and only comes across as you thinking you've one up on me. I am not weak. I've been thinking and reflecting over the weekend as I had a lot of alone time to do some thinking about this. I have been wondering for ages and thinking to myself "I need to toughen up. I know I need to be more assertive" but could never bring myself to be it. Why? That's because everyone's growth rate is different. I am assertive in the right circumstances. If someone is disrespecting me. If I don't like someone's tone I will call them out. If someone invades my personal space; I can handle it. Hell I've been mugged for frigs sake and have still managed to hold my own. I'm a tough cookie. I just can't deal with bullshit passive aggression of people with "first world problems". I can't do "professional assertiveness". I just haven't mastered that skill yet. Professionally speaking, my priority when there is conflict is maintaining calm and peace. This is what they encourage in the MAPPA training that hospitals give nurses. "Disengage the situation." And this will help to prevent deescalation. I have found it to be very effective in a lot of scenarios. However I struggle to know when enough is enough when it is a work related issue. When I talk about professional assertiveness. I'm not necessarily talking about my work and what it entails. I would like to be able to maintain and professional manner in work and outside work. My intentions are focused on being professional during conflict. Then that is what I will eventually get. I just need to let go and enjoy the journey. I suggest you do the same too. Namaste I love this, haha. Granted there is more to the story than just "nah". But one word, speaks so much volume and makes a statement. Rosa Parks is a true hero.
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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