I'll be honest. I don't really feel like writing today, I have a cold and feel a bit like I should just sit and feel sorry for myself haha! But I will because there is a small part of me that wants to.
I have been meditating for 20 mins daily for the last nearly 40 days. Which is pretty huge for me because normally I dabble in meditation. Especially when I lived in Northern Ireland. I always gave myself too much to do, visiting people, working, taking on extra shifts, planning a wedding, visiting now husband/then boyfriend. So I only meditated when I felt overwhelmed or if I actually made time for it. Now I'm married and settling in to life in England, I'm getting myself into some really good habits, it was initially in order to help me improve and become a better person. But now I'm realising that it's helping me to become more at one and at peace with myself. Now how "hippy like" can ya get?! Haha! What I mean is, I have realised how many attachments I have had to various people and things in life. Anxious habits that I've accumulated and anxious mindsets that I had accepted as "me" but hadn't looked into or investigated why I do them or what causes them. I think it's ok to have attachments to some things from time to time. Humans create bonds with things, people and other beings. However I've now realised that it's when you feel that you cannot live without these bonds and attachments that problems arise. Appreciation for what you have and for what you call comforts, luxuries are great. But when they become unhealthy necessities, then it's time to re-evaluate priorities. Why do you need a certain person? Why do you need the approval of others? Why can't you make a decision yourself? Why do you need to comfort eat? What are you suppressing? There is a real freedom in letting go of those attachments, and even if you cannot let go of those attachments. There is a real sense of freedom in accepting and acknowledging that this is where you are at this stage. Don't get frustrated at your inability to let go of something because that only adds fuel to the fire. Look at your attitude towards the issue that you feel you have. Sometimes you need to delve deep within yourself, sometimes even to the dark corners of your mind that you've been purposefully neglecting and brushing under the carpet. Even if you can't, forgive yourself and just watch the journey unfold. Accepting yourself wholly, accepting the things that you love about yourself, accepting the traits that you absolutely wish you could change in a heart beat. Get on your own team.
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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