This year has been a bit mad for everyone hasn't it?
I thought I'd give a little life update anyway. Back in January I got my promotion to a band 6 nurse practitioner in my job with a new uniform. So that was awesome. We also went back to Northern Ireland for a short visit. Which we knew it would be our last one until the baby arrives. I finished my degree certificate in minor injuries and illnesses. Then coronavirus happened. As I was pregnant, my manager put me on special covid19 leave. So I went off work a whole month earlier than I was supposed to start maternity leave. I went into labour exactly on my due date 16th of May and gave birth on the 17th which was my original date for my EDD. It was a very long and difficult labour I won't lie. But baby Zack was born safely so I am glad of that. Recovery was very slow and I'm still not out of the woods yet. We now have a two month old and I can't believe it. He's doing amazingly, he can smile, laugh, and loves silly noises and faces. He loves his little play gym, and cot mobile. He's just a wee dote with the most beautiful hair. I'm loving being a mummy, it's tiring and difficult at times, but he's such a good baby and so easy going for the most part that it just makes me so proud to be his mummy. I've also been nesting. I swear my pregnancy was back to front. I was so tired all the time. I did have a bit more energy towards the end and was even baking and stuff but I didn't have any inclination to nest at all towards the end. In fairness, I did nest a bit when I was 7 months pregnant but nothing since lol. Now, hahaha... Now every crevice, nook and cranny in my home is getting cleaned and decluttered. Lol. Wardrobes have been pulled out. New storage equipment has been bought, assembled and utilised. Kitchen cupboards raided, restocked and reorganised. Under the stairs and all too! I've still more rooms to tackle, but I'm enjoying it for the most part. I've also taken up more crafting hobbies. I started making wreaths, I took up jewellery making again. I've been making chalkboard and a key holder. I've baked bread, made icecream, baked buns, muffins, banana bread and donuts. I've even been teaching myself how to do my nails properly which has been awesome! I've had to keep myself occupied during lockdown. I hate sitting and doing nothing. I don't mind a wee day here and there doing very little but for the most part I love to stay active and learn and try new things. It becomes a little harder to do that now I have a little one to care for but it's doable ATM.
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My last blog post was about how to prepare for a hospital stay with hyperemesis, or any medical condition in general.
This post is 10 things I have learned that I don't want to forget, should I ever get pregnant again. Lessons I have learned and things I would do differently next time. The biggest theme throughout this list is "Don't be so hard on yourself". But expanded into different areas. 1) Don't surround yourself with negativity, best you can. When people hear you are pregnant, people will love to tell you their stories, and that's ok... To a point. Sometimes people will share their horror stories as a kind of "one up manship" mentality. Sometimes it will be to "prepare you" but to be honest. You can only prepare so much for anything you've never done before. Some people will use you as a sounding board to share their horrific experiences because it is their way of coping with something they had no control over. Some people have good intentions and feel that by sharing their own experiences it will help you to know that someone has been there done that. Some people just want to scare the living shit out of you. Regardless of the reason, if you don't feel in the right headspace for receiving advice... Don't be afraid to shut down conversation whatever way you feel fit and whatever the circumstances dictate. Whether that's just by staying uncomfortably silent, leaving the room, obviously changing the subject or hanging up a phone call. On that note, be careful who you confide in. Not everyone is on the same page as you in regards to how you are feeling. Everyone deals with things differently. Confide in those who you really trust. If you have no-one to talk to, speak with your midwife or GP about your concerns. 2) Not all advice is helpful, but some is. Some people will swear by different things that work every time. When in actual fact what they mean is that it worked for them. For instance, everyone from work colleagues, to family, to university lecturers swore by ginger biscuits for curing morning sickness... Needless to say it did not cure me lol. You will figure out what works for you to alleviate the pelvic pain, back pain, nausea, dizziness or whatever is troubling you. Take all things with a pinch of salt. Some advice is well meaning, some of it is bullshit. If in doubt, ask your midwife for advice or help. 3) You have nothing to prove to anyone Don't over do it. Don't try to prove how hard and tough you are. If you are feeling rough today, roll with it. Go into energy conservation mode if you have to. I had a patient who not long after a 2.5 month stint off work due to being so ill during the first part of my pregnancy, trying to convince me to sign up for park runs which happened to come up in conversation. I swiftly told her that I won't be doing that as I'm pregnant. She then told me about how there is one girl on the park run community she belongs to who was able to run right up until 35 weeks pregnant. Good for her. I wouldn't be able to am afraid. I briefly told her that I had been quite unwell during this pregnancy and wouldn't even entertain the idea but thanks for thinking of me lol. (always be polite where possible). Some people may question why you aren't able to do a certain thing, they might be right, they might not be. So long as you are doing the right thing by you, then you do you, hun. 4) Your energy supplies will be depleted Related to the last point. Don't over do it, your body despite not seeming much different perhaps at first is going to be tired... a lot, particularly during the baby's growth spurts. Don't be so hard on yourself for not being about to zoom around the house and deep clean everything the way you used to. Don't be so hard on yourself if you have brain fog as a results of feeling so fatigued. Just because you aren't actively mentally or consciously physically contributing to this baby's growth, doesn't mean your body isn't working hard to grow the little spud in your tummy. Cut yourself some slack. 5) Ask for help Because of number 4, you won't necessarily have the energy or the resources to do everything that you used to be able to. Sometimes delegation is needed. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help around the house. Or if you have a certain task to do in work that you don't think you can manage, ask a colleague for help. Why? Well... Re-read number 3 ;) Don't let pride get in the way of your ability to recognise your body's energy levels. 6) Know your limitations That said, if you think you can manage running up a few flights of stairs a few times a day, do so safely. If you think you can lift a few moderately weighted boxes in work, go for it... safely of course. If you think you can handle a jog, go for it. If you can tie your own shoe laces or put your own big girl panties on, fill your boots. If you don't, then recognise that that is your limit for that day. Try again tomorrow, but don't beat yourself up. In nursing, it is common practice to work within your limitations. Don't do something you aren't trained in or confident in doing. This goes for outside of work too. You cannot do it all. Do not take on too much at once. This has to have been the biggest and hardest lesson for me to learn. We moved house, had Christmas away from family. I did an assessment in work in order to get a promotion, completed and passed my degree certificate in Minor Injuries. That's just the tip of the iceberg, those are the big things I took on whilst being pregnant. My lesson has been well and truly learnt. I am absolutely burnt out now at the end of my pregnancy as a result of taking on too much. You might think you can still take on the world. And who knows maybe you can, but you should still go easy on yourself to ensure you're not overdoing things. Best to assume the pregnancy will be a bit hard and take it's toll on your body than take on too much and be left overwhelmed at times. 7) Everyone's pregnancy will affect them differently I got into the habit a little while back, of watching certain Youtubers that were at roughly the same gestation stage as I was... Well, that was fun and came to an end brave and quick haha! One Youtuber said all she experienced in her first trimester was one day of weepiness and a bit of nausea but didn't throw up once. She was able to exercise for the first 100 days of her pregnancy. As someone who was very much a fitness enthusiast and generally an active person, enjoying pole dancing, yoga, walking, sometimes running and squash. I very much stuck my middle finger up at her when I heard her say this. However, upon reflection. That was her experience with pregnancy, she was blessed with a touch of morning nausea. I was not. She however now, for all I know, could be suffering with carpal tunnel syndrome and swollen ankles. Whereas I am not. Although there are similarities and patterns with most pregnancies. Another woman right now might be experiencing horrendous mood swings that in her rationale mind she knows is totally irrational, but seemingly cannot control these outbursts and tears. No two pregnancies are totally the same. 8) Move and exercise when you can and feel like it As much as I did stick the middle finger up to the Youtuber who worked out intensely for the first 100 days of pregnancy, and resented the woman who told me that a woman in her local running group could run a park run up to 35 weeks pregnant. Good for them for having the energy and discipline to do so. It's ok to not feel like doing yoga every damn day during this stage in your life. It isn't for everyone. And some exercises are out of bounds anyway, like contact sports and anything that could potentially risk abdominal trauma of some kind. Do try and push yourself from time to time, whether it's going for a walk daily or alternate daily, stretching occasionally, some light kettle bell exercises, cycling or what not. Those endorphins will do your body and mind some good. Even set yourself a wee goal with a reward at the end. Mine is when I go for a walk, I reward myself with a nice wee cuppa tea. (Don't worry, I don't drink that much caffeine). 9) Eat little and often Your stomach won't be able to handle much in the beginning due to some aversions and nausea/vomiting. Towards the end, your eyes will be bigger than your belly at times. But then when you go to eat, it might feel like you've only eaten a small amount. Don't try and eat the way you used to. You've a baby in your tummy taking up a lot of space, potentially reducing the capacity to eat as much as you used to. Listen to your body and don't over do it. 10) Take your own advice (body image) If your friend complained to you about stretch marks, swollen ankles, generally feeling like a beached whale and showing worry that she won't ever get a figure again and that she'll always be fat. You would tell her to go easy on herself, wouldn't you? You'd tell her that her body is working to it's very limit in order to provide for this little baby and she is doing a bloody good job at that too! You'd tell her that she will find a new normal and to not be so critical of herself. Take your own advice, don't be so hard on yourself just because you aren't super skinny, or have a bit of cellulite. Your body is incredible and doing an insane thing! If you want to work on losing weight after the baby is born then go for it if that is what you want. But one step at a time. It's been a while since I have written a blog post.
So here's a quick update as to what's been going on this year with me. The start of this year I started a new job as a Trainee Nurse Practitioner. I'm really enjoying it so far. It's been a big challenge, particularly at the start but the staff have been class and I'm learning a lot. Definitely the best job I've had by far. Kyle and I went to Scotland at the start of the year for his birthday and went to the Scotch Whiskey Experience for a master class. It was brilliant. I'm definitely converted to a whiskey fan now. Which I couldn't have imagined a year ago haha! We had a great time and enjoyed doing our own thing and exploring the old part of Edinburgh. Then we went to Zante a Greek island. We had a good time and made friends with an Albanian barman. To be honest it was nice to get away and spend some time alone together just chilling so we didn't go for the whole tourist thing. We explored around different parts of Zante but didn't go for the party life or anything. We popped home a couple of times this year but didn't go alot as we were saving for a house and couldn't afford to be flying back and forth to northern Ireland every month or two. Our wee nephew turned one in September so we went home for his birthday. And also to tell our families that we are expecting our own addition to the family next Spring. We are having a baby. I can't quite believe it but it's slowly setting in. We are very excited. This next few weeks will be interesting as we've secured a house to buy. So all being well in the next month or so we will be in the process of moving house. We most certainly don't do things in halves do we lol! Kyle and I also celebrated 2 years being married last weekend. I can't quite believe it's been 2 years. It feels like forever but also like yesterday at the same time. The last 2 years I've learned so much and have really enjoyed married life. We've got a lot to look forward to particularly next year. So yeah, life has been pretty busy, travelling, working, visiting family, anniversary and a baby on the way. I've been in hospital 3 times with hyperemesis (a.k.a. Really bad vomitting in early pregnancy)
And from it I've learned a lot of useful things about myself as a person, as a nurse and tips and tricks to make hospital stays a bit more... Enjoyable. As a person I have learned alot. I'm not the best at being sick. I sound like a beached whale taking its final gulps of air. I make a song and dance about being sick, I'm terrified of being sick on my own encase I aspirate. It's not an enjoyable experience for me or my husband. This pregnancy took me unawares. I was expecting to feel nauseous and fatigued. But i didnt expect the low mood that came with it. Sounds dramatic all for a bit of vomitting. But it really was relentless. 2 days out of 7 I'd be attached at the hip to the toilet for being sick. Get so dehydrated that I'd end up in hospital. The rest of the week is spent feeling a little less nauseous but more so than anything, weak as water. It got me so down that I couldn't enjoy food, or anything for that matter. I didn't want to do anything, or see anyone, but yet I felt so alone. Even though I had Kyle and he has been amazing throughout all of this. I felt so worried and in that felt alone. Weirdly enough I eventually started to get used to the vomitting. It's never enjoyable put it that way. And I most certainly don't sound any more graceful when I puke. But I've come to psyche myself up now for it. I have pep talks with myself and try to be alot kinder to myself now than I've ever been. Those days where I feel at my lowest I have learned to spend less time thinking and stay closer to myself internally. Spending it in a sort of meditative state. It hasn't been easy but this has definitely helped. That and colouring in, my sister in law very kindly sent me over a "pregnancy problems colouring in book" which has helped me to learn a few things about patience and perserverence. As a nurse, I've learned what it is like for my patients when they are feeling so unwell. Patients are really vulnerable. I've known that anyway and try to treat all with kindness. Even those who are a bit hostile (with some exceptions to the rule, naturally) as generally speaking I've found those who are a bit hostile tend to be the most frightened. I've learned first hand how vulnerable you are when I had an experience with a fellow nurse that wasn't the warmest or compassionate. You get bad apples in every bunch I suppose in all professions. It made me feel so tiny and drove home the point of being open and honest with patients. Reading them, if they aren't up for the craic, that's fine. They aren't well. Let them be. But always be open with them, kind and compassionate. My best tips about being a patient. 1. Bring headphones. Hospitals are noisy places, it can be disheartening when you want to rest but there's someone with dementia sitting across from you. Fire alarm test day and buzzers and alarms going off left right and centre. On route, download some calm songs or songs you enjoy. Trust me, it'll make all the difference and lower your anxiety too. Yes I know, I'm a nurse and I get anxious being on the other side of the fence. Who'd have thunk it? 2. My next best tip has to be bring some home comforts. You're favourite throw, hoodie, maybe a snack you know you can tolerate. Something that keeps you calm and comfortable. Definitely will help with anxiety levels and allow you some calm time. 3. Be sure to bring some form of entertainment, for me it was my phone, a colouring book and some colouring pencils. Sounds childish but yet it was so therapeutic to colour in some mandalas and see how it all comes together. How something in the centre can start out so small and then gradually widen and get more pretty and intricate. For you it might be bringing a laptop and playing the Sims 4? For my brother in law it was his Ps4. It could be a book, an audio book, a game, who knows. But something to put the time in anyways. If you're in hospital for whatever reason, I hope it all goes well for you and that you have a speedy recovery. I also hope these tips make it a bit easier for you. The human body is amazing in so many different ways and for so many different reasons. One of the things I want to talk about is psychological discipline and and the ability for the body to develop and learn new skills. I haven't always been flexible and even at that, I have a long way to go. But I have recently gotten my splits because of my dedication and discipline to stretching and practicing yoga. Its hard work. But its doable. I've been practicing for 2 years nearly and I've finally started to get the splits . the body grows in so many different ways and I think it is so awesome that it can do that. Even as an adult. My alignment needs some work still, and I can only hold it for 5 seconds. But touch down has been accomplished. Im willing to give it more time and practice in order to become better at it.
Not only in the splits practice. I am so amazed with how with practice, the body can better itself. obviously within reason. Injury can also happen so easily too. But even that said, progress is within reach, perhaps in a different way, who knows. It just amazes me the potential. My pole dance for example. I've come leaps and bounds in my pole dance practice. My strength and flexibility is astounding now. I hear alot of people say "I wish/have always wanted to be able to do xyz" and they then hear what effort is involved and decide not to bother. Thats perfectly fine. What isn't fine though, is continuing to complain about how you wish you could do said thing. It's not cool because it shows that you want to get things without any effort, work or discipline. It's a sad thing to see. If you really want something, set realistic goals to get to it or as close to it as physically possible for you. I've pretty much (except for 2 months) renting houses since I was 24, not long after I felt stable enough in my first proper full time post as a Nurse. I have to say I've really enjoyed it so far. Not without difficulties of course as with anything. But it has given me a lot of experiences that I want to share here. I hear a lot of people discuss the disadvantages of renting a house. But I'm here to discuss the positives whilst incorporating things I've learned along the way. Advantages of Renting Property 1) You learn a lot about being an adult I was always told as a kid and a teenager growing up "make the most of having your washing done for you etc". Now that said, I am grateful for everything my mum ever did for me to make sure I didn't have to see without. I know there are a lot of people growing up in poverty and maybe don't have the luxury of having a caregiver sort out domestic chores for them. My mum did all the washing, cleaning and cooking in the house. I'm glad she provided this for me so I didn't have to learn from an extremely early age. But I feel that I've always been quite independent in that I like learning how to look after myself. I've had to learn how to juggle working, paying bills, how these bills work, cleaning, cooking and washing by myself. No bringing home bags of washing for mum to sort out any more. This allowed me to learn how to not only task manage, but time manage and problem solve. 2) Learn new skills This also is encompassed in the previous point, I had to learn how to do a lot of stuff myself domestically, but I also needed some basic DIY skills in order to keep the house afloat. I'm no Bob the Builder, but I have built a bed myself (had to ask my dad for a little help at the end as Argos had made a hole in one of the panels face the wrong way and I couldn't get the leg of the bed screwed in, so my Dad saved the day with his tool box and set to work drilling a hole in the correct place for me. I've had to build a chest of drawers, fix light bulbs, toilet roll holders and toilet buttons alike. Anything I can't do, I ask the landlord/lady. Or make the most of someone's abilities. For instance; my first house I rented in Belfast, even with a chair I couldn't reach the fire alarm to change the battery. So one day when the gas man came to service the boiler. (steady on there, not "my boiler" I mean a literal gas boiler, you nasty piece of filth haha!) Since he was a tall chap I asked him if he'd mind changing the battery for me, which he gladly obliged, after having a laugh at my height or there lack of. No-one expects you to be able to do everything yourself. You might be an independent so and so who don't need no man but we can't be a jack of all trades in everything in life. That's why we have tradesman or relatives who are a dab hand at DIY stuff. 3) Renting let me find out what I like and don't like You have to view houses before you put a deposit down, whether it's buying or renting. Sometimes viewing houses can be like using Tinder. There are houses advertised that look absolutely like they might be the one. Then when you go on that date, you find out that there is a lot of baggage with it that just doesn't sit right with you. However, there are some things that you won't foresee until you are in the thick of it. For instance when I moved into my house in Belfast, the walls you could hear the neighbours telly blasting. Now you couldn't hear everything but it was a bit frustrating at times. My house was also smack bang in the middle of where the 12th July parades marched through (if you aren't familiar, google it) Which played havoc one day as I was working all over the 12th holiday and couldn't get home for 3 hours whilst the bands played... Not good when you need a wee. You learn other things to take into consideration that meet your criteria. You mightn't have much of a criteria before you move out, but trust me by the end of your tenancy you will. Some examples of mine would be off street parking for 2 cars (makes your car insurance a little cheaper and it's a little safer), a garden, not paper thin walls, safe neighbourhood, and most recently a decent takeaway. Where we live there is sweet FA near us (it's also good because it means we have to cook everything meaning it's healthier but still, sometimes a girl needs a decent Chinese takeaway ya know?) For you that might look different depending on whether or not you have a family, what kind of job you have etc. 4) You may learn some vital skills such as conflict management skills Whether it's with a nasty neighbour, difficult landlord, or horrible estate agents. You learn important tricks in how to handle situations and handle yourself. I've had a couple of tricky situations particularly in our current house where me and Kyle have both had to face some difficult people together and separately in some very bizarre situations. Whilst I still have a lot of learning to do yet, I've come a long way in asserting myself and fighting my corner where I need to. There are some untrustworthy people out there. Whether you like it or not you will be naive at first. But you can help yourself by taking tips from family and friends who've been there done that. Don't trust anyone at face value when it comes to properties, they might be friendly to your face but when shit hits the fan you can rest assured they will try to pin the blame on you. Not always the case but I am under the impression that someone can be guilty until proven innocent when it comes to business. For instance, your landlord/estate agent might be the sweetest chocolate in Thornton's when it comes to getting you to sign the papers and take the tenancy. But when you move out rest assured the company will go through the house with a fine tooth comb and try to take money out of your security deposit for things that were maybe there before you moved in. Unless you have proof, they can do what they please. You'll be left aghast because you and Becky were like BFF's 2 years ago for 2 weeks. Now, don't slate me if you are a sales rep or estate agent. I get it, your job is difficult and commission based, you have to be a people person and a good sale pitch starts with a smile. Nothing wrong with it; it's the system I sometimes have a problem with. Don't take it so personal. 5) Keep your records straight and up to date View anything to do with houses as purely business. Be pleasant of course that goes without saying. But don't assume everyone is on the same page. When you are given an itinerary of the property, even the T&C's, go through it so thoroughly that you consider becoming a lawyer. Make your own itinerary, take photographs of EVERYTHING wrong with the place, even things that might seem insignificant. Trust me, it will work in your favour if you chose to move out to another place or buy a property, you will have clear time stamped evidence to support your case when the security deposit issues comes into question. This was a big one for us last year, when we moved out of our old flat, our old landlord tried to pull a fast one by saying that we didn't get the carpets cleaned and that the place was a mess when we left. Thankfully we employed someone to clean the carpets with an invoice; And even to the Landlords own admission, the estate agents hired an independent inspector who reported back that the house was of an professionally clean standard. I still can't get over the cheek of the landlord thinking we were going to cough up an extra couple of hundred for them to "clean it". So keep good records of everything. Be on top of it, because guaranteed someone else will and it might not work in your favour. 6) Budgeting This can be a disadvantage if you aren't careful and realistic Obviously a lot of people will say stay with your parents rent free for as long as you can to allow yourself to save money. Whilst there is a lot of truth in this, this isn't always everyone's reality. Not everyone has that luxury for their own personal and individual reasons. So when you are renting, cross reference your potential bills and rent with your income. Be realistic with what you can afford and what you can put away for savings. This can vary depending on your circumstances and I am not blindsided by this. I would recommend the book "Get your Shit Together" By Sarah Knight. Commical and hard hitting with them facts about procrastination, even touches on saving money etc. Set realistic goals for savings, you might not be able to put a deposit down on a house in 1 years time. So be realistic with your targets. For instance you might be working part time as at a garden centre on maybe £7.50/hr. There's a few questions to ask yourself 1) Can you pick up extra shifts/extra work elsewhere? 2) If so its this feasible i.e. family commitments 3) are you on benefits? perhaps consider advice from a company such as this There's plenty of advice services that offer advice and help 4) Consider all your earnings, look at price ranges online of houses for rent. 5) Sit down and calculate how much you could realistically put aside per day, per week, per month or whatever way you get paid. Remember you got this, you can do this. Reach out for help if you need it from the right people. If you are struggling with debt, pay your debts off first. Once you have them paid off, you'll know what you can live without money wise. For instance, if you're paying off credit cards say £30 a week; once you've eventually paid off your credit card debt, you'll have made adjustments to living without that £30 a week and can start putting that into a savings account. That's just one example, it might be less or more for you. However if you seek out help and advice from services such as: Money Advice Service, you will be able to taylor your own Thanks for coming to my TED talk haha! So these are my advantages of having rented before I buy a house. Im playing catch up so heres day 10 of the blog challenge set out by the lovely Kathryn from @the_mother_hen
Todays topic is what I wore today... Well... Just for shits and giggles I'm gonna write this like I'm a proper fancy fashion blogger #richbitch I have worn 3 outfits today. 3 you say?? Yes 3, I say. I'm just that classy. And today you've got the privilege of hearing all about each item I wore. Here's what I wore to work today from 07:30-15:30 This "beautiful" dark blue matching tunic and trousers were gifted to me by the National Health Service. #SoInThisSeason. It resembles that of a sack of spuds and ironically make me appear skinnier than I actually am. Super comfortable, much like wearing pajamas to work only obviously not cause that would be super lazy 🤔 Accessories again courtesy of the National Health Service that includes a stunning yellow broach customised just for me with my first name on it. The last accessory is a fabulous fob watch that a member of the styling team at the one and only Argos hand picked out for me. (A.k.a. she handed me my order over the counter whilst chatting to someone on her headset) beautiful floral design and quite clearly showing off my expensive taste (*cough* £5) After work, I headed home, had a shower and changed into my designer lounge wear. A beige long sleeve shirt from none other than New Look. With a little eagle logo that looks suspiciously like Hollister but I can assure you ... It isn't. And navy sweat pants with a white and green stripe down the lateral side of the leg. (I forgot to take a photo so I will throw one here of me wearing the shirt before on another occasion) And finally I went to my first proper pole class in ages tonight. I wore a short crop top from Berskha (a Spanish brand) and a pair of pink nude shorts that says some bollocks on the side of the hip in black and white. They're cute so I don't really care in all honesty what it says So there you have it... All the outfits I wore today and why. \nIt didn't take me long to figure this one out. \nI live in England but am originally from Northern Ireland. \nI miss the people in that the way they speak, they understand me and I understand them. I'm pretty lucky where I live now in that I don't have to repeat myself all that often. Everyone is lovely and that reminds me of home in a lot of ways. \nBut one thing I just miss more than anything is potato bread, often called tattie bread. Or as I recently discovered after a class weekend in Edinburgh is that they call it a tattie scone (pronounced tatty). \nTattie bread is a delicacy. Some shops still sell it but some of it is crap not gonna lie. \nI found a recipie for it about a year ago and gave it a go. It's gonna take a little practice mind you. But the recipie is pretty decent. \nBasically it's mashed potato, flour, roll it out with a rolling pin, cut into triangles. (I mean, it's the only decent way to eat it) and fry it low to medium head 3 mins each side roughly or until golden brown. \nIf done right, it tastes so soft and slightly crunchy on the outside. It is amazing with a fry, along with soda bread... Ohhhh soda bread, it's absolutely gorgeous too \nIn fact all bread from Ireland in general I really miss: the scones, Veda bread, wheaten bread mmm!!! \nBread is my one crutch in life. It's pretty much the reason I end up putting weight back on. \nI'm certain that in a previous life I was a baker. I can remember being a little tot and going shopping with my mum and sister in Bow Street Mall in Lisburn, Northern Ireland.
There used to be a crèche upstairs where the food court now is. A really class soft play area for kids to play in. I remember there was even lots of soft play bricks and blocks. My sister and I made friends with another couple of little boys and we all decided to build a house together. I thought we did a good job but to be honest we were pretty young so it probably looked like shite haha! I feel like this was such a great idea! If I remember correctly I think that there were child minders on site to look after the kids. Meaning the mums could go off and do their shopping knowing their kids were alright. It was fun and I remember being gutted when they closed down the crèche I used to love playing imaginary games as a kid. Pretending to be all sorts, from a Pokémon trainer to a skateboarder to a baby sitter to cops and robbers, cowboys, robin hood, and the list goes on. It was amazing to pretend to be all these things. I used to love playing other games too, I liked playing football, playing spy's, gymnastics. So it feels natural that my earliest memory revolved around playing and pretending Just a little warning, this is a long post haha! In all honesty it has taken me 3-4 days to write this as this is a subject that I have mixed feelings about in relation to social media. Its supposed to be 5 problems with social media but I've only done 3. Because there are so many rabbit holes to jump into. This post is already long enough as it is. Some of it can be seen as duplication so I've limited myself to 3 points. Nevertheless, don't let the length put you off. Its an interesting read. I've tried to be fair where possible to both sides of the argument. Feel free to offer constructive criticism where you can. Social media is great because it allows us to connect with others, see what they're up to. We can learn so much through social media too. That said, nothing in life is 100% perfect. So here is my 2 cents for what it's worth as written by a 26 year old with some life experience. I don't like to make uninformed decisions so I will back up what I say with evidence in the form of studies. All studies I use will be in the western part of the world. Most of them have been American studies. So just to point that out for context. I enjoy using some platforms more than others. However, I can appreciate that as a young person there is a desire to have everything that your friends all have and can therefore use all platforms available to them. The fear of missing out can make you think you're being isolated. As an introduction to the topic, I thought this statistic from the "Common Sense, Census" was very poignant. "On any given day fully one in five 8- to 12-year-olds in this country is using more than six hours of screen media, and nearly as many teens (18 percent) are using more than 10 hours of screen media." 1) Vital Skills and Focus can be affected negatively According to a study carried out by Ophir et al (2009) "Heavy Media Multitaskers (i.e. a person's consumption of more than one item or stream of content at the same time) have greater difficulty filtering out irrelevant stimuli from their environment (as seen in the filter task and AX-CPT with distractors), they are less likely to ignore irrelevant representations in memory (two- and three-back tasks), and they are less effective in suppressing the activation of irrelevant task sets (task-switching). This last result is particularly striking given the central role attributed to task-switching in multitasking." So it's safe to say that flicking between instagram, facebook, snapchat, youtube, etc constantly can impact your ability to filter through nonsense and prioritise things in general. These are vital skills for surviving adulthood and skills that are versatile and needed in most jobs. The ability to focus and also prioritise tasks. The Common Sense, Census Study (linked above) says that many teens multitask with media while doing their homework, and most think this has no effect on the quality of their work. That said, there are so many different kinds of media that people can interact with. TV, spotify, youtube etc. So I can see that some people perfer to have background music or noise going on in the background while they concentrate on their studies or work whatever they are doing. Everyone learns and works differently. However, I think that most of us can agree that if you are texting, scrolling on instagram/facebook or sending snap chats. You're probably not doing your work. Therefore you spend longer procrastinating, then cramming to get everything done before bed. This slowly pushes bed time a little later which can in turn affect your sleep and performance the next day. So it would be a fair assumption to suggest that perhaps anything that takes your eyes off what you're meant to be doing is probably more of a distraction than anything else. Shaw and Grant (2004) argue that social skills can be enhanced using social media. Stating that social media can have a positive effect on how people socialise, and reduce loneliness Whilst this is true, surely this depends on how people utilise social media. If they use it and never go out to interact with people in the real world then surely this will have a detrimental effect on developing substantial social skills necessary to function as a contributing member of society. Barker, (2009) suggests in her study that there are some people who don't feel overly confident in physical interactions or feel secure in their everyday relationships and therefore turn to social networking sites such as Facebook etc in order to interact Essentially on their own terms and satisfy that need for companionship. With that said, is this a healthy way of learning how to interact? I think personally yes and no. Yes, because the internet has a vast array of people from all kinds of backgrounds that you can interact with. Social interaction can help with building self confidence (as this study also shows). Mostly females seem to enjoy the social interaction of social media for this reason. However I also say no because social interaction on social media is different to interaction that is face to face and requires faster responses and tact. You also don't get to "leave someone on read" if someone asks you a difficult question etc. In real life. That requires experience which requires prescribe. If you aren't practicing then you don't get experience. 2. Poor Outcomes of Mental Health It's no secret that there is a correlation between poor mental health and heavy use of social media. The Common Sense, Consensus statistic used at rhe start of this post says: "On any given day fully one in five 8- to 12-year-olds in this country is using more than six hours of screen media, and nearly as many teens (18 percent) are using more than 10 hours of screen media." Whilst other infographics and articles written by this platform suggest that social media actually has a very beneficial outcome for users. Surely spending this much time being consumed by a variety of platforms, surrounding yourself with users who push their agendas and #ads and sponsored content can cause even the best of us to question our lives. "How come I don't have a life like that?", "What are they doing differently to me that they get a beautiful house, partner, car etc?" Joe Rogan did a podcast with a guy called Jonathan Haidt (Social Psychologist) who discusses that actually there is a high correlation between middle school aged females high use of social media at a young age a d self harm. Definitely an interesting podcast! (it'll be linked below for your listening pleasure) People share their best side. No-one is going to try and share their worst days. No body is going to share about their alcohol problem, or their poor school grades, relationships falling apart. (At least not during the dark times. Only after the fact when they've "risen from the ashes".) And those that do overshare their struggles; we judge by saying either to them or to ourselves "you're putting your dirty washing out for everyone to see" There has to be a balance. We as a society it seems, have raised the expectation bar up so high that we can't see social media influencers as anything else but perfection. And so when a mistake is made we feel so invested like we are entitled to know every detail of someone's life who at the end of the day is only human. It can really impact influencers when they get hung, drawn and quartered as a result of their own personal scandals. It can affect the invested followers in making them question a lot of things. And yet if we don't see these influencers as only human, followers can feel pressured, either from themselves or from other followers and users that this is the way life is supposed to look. Why don't you have it so good? Causing a downward spiral of feeling rotten in your own circumstances and just generally sub par. However, playing devils advocate here. In relation to chronic long term health conditions, one study I read (Merolli et al, 2012) suggests that such people being on social media (whilst research into the subject is still in its early stages) has a good impact and empowers individuals by helping them to understand and interact with people in similar situations to themselves. So arguably there are points for both side of whether or not social media can be a good and bad thing for mental health. Personally I feel that there can be more negatives in relation to mental health than good. 3) Infants Motor Skills are affected I've heard stories of parents saying that their toddlers try to swipe the next page of a magazine and then wonder why the screen won't change. I've spoken to a health visitor whose said that she's noticed toddlers fine motor skills (the ability to pinch and pick up small items) is greatly affected by over use of tablets and so on. Webster and Staiano in their study talk about excessive screen time and the implications for kids these days. "Higher amounts of screen-time might deter children from the opportunity to engage in Physical Activity experiences;" They then go on to say that in this particular study no relationship was found between the amount of screen-time in which children engaged and any intensity or amount of Physical Activity. Interestingly and yet also unsurprisingly. Children's motor skills were positively related to Vigorous Physical Activity but inversely related to screen-time. Further inquiry into the implications of high exposure to screen-time in young children is needed in order to explore other areas of screen time Whilst it's not directly talking about social media. Most kids are using YouTube which is a form of social media. The Children and Parents: Media Use and Attitude Report (2017) (it wont let me link it here as it is a PDF but easily google-able) states that at the ages 3-4, statistically, 41% of this age group of kids will be watching TV on a tablet. I've watched a lot of kids watching stuff on tablets a d they are not only glued to it but they have the screen inches away from their faces. Which surely cannot be good for them! By the age of 8-11, 23% of these kids will have their own social media profile. A positive thing to take away from this document however is that parents and kids alike are talking about internet safety. 17% of kids and teens have said they've seen something they've been worried about but have also taken action against. So this is promising to see. So there you have it. My 2 cents for what it's worth.
I have backed up everything I've said with research. I hope you found it useful. Give yourself a pat on the back if you stuck it out this far! Well done you! |
AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
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