I have got a lot of silent followers on this blog who regularly read my posts and ramblings. So a happy new year to you all! I know I'm 11 days late in posting this. But sure better late than never.
This New Year we had a quiet night in, ordered a chinese, watche some shitty tv which we just ripped the piss out of cause it was funny. Drank some wine and called it a night. It was brilliant, to me it was a great way to spend NYE after the hype of Christmas. So in recent news in my life. I've been offered a new job. I start at the end of the month (yay for having an income again!) It is very different to what my previous job was. Previously I mostly worked in A&E settings, and don't get me wrong I love A&E. It will always be my first love of nursing. It was a complicated relationship between me and A&E, but it taught me to be stronger. Not to show all my cards at once, to look after myself mentally. I even loved the type of patients that we got in to the department. The craic was ninty with the staff and the buzz helped but the day in. I went into Nursing originally to become a midwife. And while this idea still is appealing to a certain extent. I have recently found my love for cancer patients and palliative care. Some people have told me I am very morbid for thinking of having a career in this area. But to me it is necessary. More and more people are being diagnosed with cancer every year. I feel like the treatment for cancer is changing and will continue to change and I would like to be around to witness this change occurring. I've been studying my ass off in the last couple of months all about cancer; and although I have a long way to go and a lot still yet to learn. I am generally excited to get started. I got my induction timetable at the start of the week and felt very overwhelmed with how jam packed it was. But I will just have to take it one step at a time, allow myself time to settle in, learn, meet new patients and new staff members. At the weekend I was at a really low point, I wasn't very well and you know how when you're not well physically it takes a toll mentally too? Well although I was physically sick for about 2 days. It has taken me a while to jump out of that mindset. In fact I haven't been feeling great mentally from being sick for about 5 days now. I woke up in the morning and felt like crying, for no reason. Just wanted to lie in bed. And sometimes there is a call to do this and let your body and mind rest. But yesterday I just felt like I needed to do something. So I forced myself to get up, open the windows make the bed, clean the kitchen counter top and then sat down to have breakfast. I just did little things at a time, then would take a little break. Because your mind has a way of telling your body to slow down sometimes too. I didn't feel like chatting, I didn't feel like being chirpy, I didn't really want to have banter. And that's ok, the thing is I knew what I wanted and didn't want. That's a good thing. I think the daily meditation has helped me to stay in tune with how I'm feeling. It's ok to feel shitty, you don't need to fix it. Just let it be for now. Sometimes that's so hard because even in our conversations with other people, if they ask how things have been with you. There is a tendency for them to respond with a solution when you tell them that you've been feeling pretty down recently. I can understand the reasoning behind this to be fair. People want to seem helpful, they don't like to talk about sad things. It's hard to talk about stuff that is hard to talk about. If this is you, that's ok, but always remember that sometimes a solution isn't needed but a listening ear. So don't be afraid of silence, just see what happens when you allow silence to enter the conversation. :3
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
Categories
All
|