I like to post inspiring things that help others. It makes me appear like I have everything all together and am a master of my own mind. But I'm really not. Most of the time I feel lost when I write inspiring captions with inspiring picture quotes.
Most of my childhood was dictated by what I'm 100% certain was OCD. It was hell. Made me insecure, in a constant state of anxiety and fear. I somehow had blocked most of these terrifying memories out of my mind. I remembered them a couple of years ago when I watched a documentary on mental health retreats designed to help young people face and begin to overcome their mental health issues and disorders. It started a domino effect of memories that had been submerged in the back of my mind. At that point I started to wonder "... When was the point that this all subsided? I don't have half of these thoughts any more. I must have made myself better" But something I've realising lately. Is that it never truly subsided. It just got smarter and more "mature" I have different thoughts now that consume my mind day in day out. They developed and grew as I developed and grew. Some days they are so difficult to face. Today was one of those days. Sometimes the thoughts are so overwhelming I have to lock myself away for short periods when I'm working. Even longer periods when I'm alone. Sometimes I need space to just be here and process all this myself. I'm terrified writing this as I know how vulnerable I'm making myself. But sometimes making yourself vulnerable and writing it all down can help process things and allow you to take a step forward in life. You are not you're thoughts.
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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