Yesterday I had a pretty down day. I honestly have no idea as to why. I just felt pretty "meh"
I had stuff I wanted to do and I got some of it done. I felt super tired when I woke up. (I wouldn't be the best morning person anyways to begin with) So Kyle gave me a caffeine tablet to try and perk me up a bit. Which to a certain extent helped. But after the gym I crashed and was like "ehhh nahhh I don't wanna move today". I went to the gym, I worked pretty hard but it exhausted me. So I did some light tidying. Hoovered the rest of the bloody pines from the stupid Christmas tree we bought off the floor (it's literally everywhere and won't lift) I practiced my forearm stands. I loaded the dishwasher and threw a load of washing into the washing machine. Then I collapsed in a heap on the sofa and binge watched Brooklyn 99 on Netflix. (My favourite show, especially when I'm feeling meh) I felt initial guilt because I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done. There were even points when I was sitting on the sofa, thinking "I could be doing xyz right now" But then I realised that I wasn't physically ready to move today. I was drained emotionally too and I don't know why. I meditated for 22 mins to try and help me become more ok with me and how I'm feeling. (Brace yourself this might get confusing) It's ok to not be ok with where you're at. If you can't forgive yourself, or if you're frustrated because you feel a certain way and you don't want to. That's ok, be accepting of where you're at. Even if that means being accepting of the fact that you're not ok with not being ok. Does that make sense? Haha! I have the tendancy to want to be able to find out the reason behind feeling a certain way, correcting it and then moving on with my life and doing the rest of the things on my to do list. But as much as I searched I couldn't find any particular reason that I was feeling sad. Sometimes it's blatantly obvious why we feel sad, sometimes we can continue to feel sad because we can't quite see past it just yet. Sometimes we can see the reason and fix it and move on. And sometimes we just can't figure out why we are feeling a certain way. All of those things are ok. You're allowed to have off days. No matter how much self care you do. No matter how much yoga or meditation you do. No matter how mindful you try to be or how mindful people perceive you to be. Just because your mindful and whatever, doesn't mean you are superhuman. You're human, you have off days, you have days where everyone and everything pisses you off, with or without reason. Allow yourself permission to feel negative feelings, sometimes they just need to be let free :)
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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