My last blog post was about how to prepare for a hospital stay with hyperemesis, or any medical condition in general.
This post is 10 things I have learned that I don't want to forget, should I ever get pregnant again. Lessons I have learned and things I would do differently next time. The biggest theme throughout this list is "Don't be so hard on yourself". But expanded into different areas. 1) Don't surround yourself with negativity, best you can. When people hear you are pregnant, people will love to tell you their stories, and that's ok... To a point. Sometimes people will share their horror stories as a kind of "one up manship" mentality. Sometimes it will be to "prepare you" but to be honest. You can only prepare so much for anything you've never done before. Some people will use you as a sounding board to share their horrific experiences because it is their way of coping with something they had no control over. Some people have good intentions and feel that by sharing their own experiences it will help you to know that someone has been there done that. Some people just want to scare the living shit out of you. Regardless of the reason, if you don't feel in the right headspace for receiving advice... Don't be afraid to shut down conversation whatever way you feel fit and whatever the circumstances dictate. Whether that's just by staying uncomfortably silent, leaving the room, obviously changing the subject or hanging up a phone call. On that note, be careful who you confide in. Not everyone is on the same page as you in regards to how you are feeling. Everyone deals with things differently. Confide in those who you really trust. If you have no-one to talk to, speak with your midwife or GP about your concerns. 2) Not all advice is helpful, but some is. Some people will swear by different things that work every time. When in actual fact what they mean is that it worked for them. For instance, everyone from work colleagues, to family, to university lecturers swore by ginger biscuits for curing morning sickness... Needless to say it did not cure me lol. You will figure out what works for you to alleviate the pelvic pain, back pain, nausea, dizziness or whatever is troubling you. Take all things with a pinch of salt. Some advice is well meaning, some of it is bullshit. If in doubt, ask your midwife for advice or help. 3) You have nothing to prove to anyone Don't over do it. Don't try to prove how hard and tough you are. If you are feeling rough today, roll with it. Go into energy conservation mode if you have to. I had a patient who not long after a 2.5 month stint off work due to being so ill during the first part of my pregnancy, trying to convince me to sign up for park runs which happened to come up in conversation. I swiftly told her that I won't be doing that as I'm pregnant. She then told me about how there is one girl on the park run community she belongs to who was able to run right up until 35 weeks pregnant. Good for her. I wouldn't be able to am afraid. I briefly told her that I had been quite unwell during this pregnancy and wouldn't even entertain the idea but thanks for thinking of me lol. (always be polite where possible). Some people may question why you aren't able to do a certain thing, they might be right, they might not be. So long as you are doing the right thing by you, then you do you, hun. 4) Your energy supplies will be depleted Related to the last point. Don't over do it, your body despite not seeming much different perhaps at first is going to be tired... a lot, particularly during the baby's growth spurts. Don't be so hard on yourself for not being about to zoom around the house and deep clean everything the way you used to. Don't be so hard on yourself if you have brain fog as a results of feeling so fatigued. Just because you aren't actively mentally or consciously physically contributing to this baby's growth, doesn't mean your body isn't working hard to grow the little spud in your tummy. Cut yourself some slack. 5) Ask for help Because of number 4, you won't necessarily have the energy or the resources to do everything that you used to be able to. Sometimes delegation is needed. Don't be afraid to ask someone for help around the house. Or if you have a certain task to do in work that you don't think you can manage, ask a colleague for help. Why? Well... Re-read number 3 ;) Don't let pride get in the way of your ability to recognise your body's energy levels. 6) Know your limitations That said, if you think you can manage running up a few flights of stairs a few times a day, do so safely. If you think you can lift a few moderately weighted boxes in work, go for it... safely of course. If you think you can handle a jog, go for it. If you can tie your own shoe laces or put your own big girl panties on, fill your boots. If you don't, then recognise that that is your limit for that day. Try again tomorrow, but don't beat yourself up. In nursing, it is common practice to work within your limitations. Don't do something you aren't trained in or confident in doing. This goes for outside of work too. You cannot do it all. Do not take on too much at once. This has to have been the biggest and hardest lesson for me to learn. We moved house, had Christmas away from family. I did an assessment in work in order to get a promotion, completed and passed my degree certificate in Minor Injuries. That's just the tip of the iceberg, those are the big things I took on whilst being pregnant. My lesson has been well and truly learnt. I am absolutely burnt out now at the end of my pregnancy as a result of taking on too much. You might think you can still take on the world. And who knows maybe you can, but you should still go easy on yourself to ensure you're not overdoing things. Best to assume the pregnancy will be a bit hard and take it's toll on your body than take on too much and be left overwhelmed at times. 7) Everyone's pregnancy will affect them differently I got into the habit a little while back, of watching certain Youtubers that were at roughly the same gestation stage as I was... Well, that was fun and came to an end brave and quick haha! One Youtuber said all she experienced in her first trimester was one day of weepiness and a bit of nausea but didn't throw up once. She was able to exercise for the first 100 days of her pregnancy. As someone who was very much a fitness enthusiast and generally an active person, enjoying pole dancing, yoga, walking, sometimes running and squash. I very much stuck my middle finger up at her when I heard her say this. However, upon reflection. That was her experience with pregnancy, she was blessed with a touch of morning nausea. I was not. She however now, for all I know, could be suffering with carpal tunnel syndrome and swollen ankles. Whereas I am not. Although there are similarities and patterns with most pregnancies. Another woman right now might be experiencing horrendous mood swings that in her rationale mind she knows is totally irrational, but seemingly cannot control these outbursts and tears. No two pregnancies are totally the same. 8) Move and exercise when you can and feel like it As much as I did stick the middle finger up to the Youtuber who worked out intensely for the first 100 days of pregnancy, and resented the woman who told me that a woman in her local running group could run a park run up to 35 weeks pregnant. Good for them for having the energy and discipline to do so. It's ok to not feel like doing yoga every damn day during this stage in your life. It isn't for everyone. And some exercises are out of bounds anyway, like contact sports and anything that could potentially risk abdominal trauma of some kind. Do try and push yourself from time to time, whether it's going for a walk daily or alternate daily, stretching occasionally, some light kettle bell exercises, cycling or what not. Those endorphins will do your body and mind some good. Even set yourself a wee goal with a reward at the end. Mine is when I go for a walk, I reward myself with a nice wee cuppa tea. (Don't worry, I don't drink that much caffeine). 9) Eat little and often Your stomach won't be able to handle much in the beginning due to some aversions and nausea/vomiting. Towards the end, your eyes will be bigger than your belly at times. But then when you go to eat, it might feel like you've only eaten a small amount. Don't try and eat the way you used to. You've a baby in your tummy taking up a lot of space, potentially reducing the capacity to eat as much as you used to. Listen to your body and don't over do it. 10) Take your own advice (body image) If your friend complained to you about stretch marks, swollen ankles, generally feeling like a beached whale and showing worry that she won't ever get a figure again and that she'll always be fat. You would tell her to go easy on herself, wouldn't you? You'd tell her that her body is working to it's very limit in order to provide for this little baby and she is doing a bloody good job at that too! You'd tell her that she will find a new normal and to not be so critical of herself. Take your own advice, don't be so hard on yourself just because you aren't super skinny, or have a bit of cellulite. Your body is incredible and doing an insane thing! If you want to work on losing weight after the baby is born then go for it if that is what you want. But one step at a time.
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
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