We all have our weaknesses in an individual level.
Even those of us who appear most confident. One of the many things I see every day is people hiding their weaknesses. From an animal instinct perspective; this is in Order that other predators can't see our weaknesses and prey on us. As we have evolved over time. (Regardless of your stance on creationism vs. Evolution we have as a society evolved that is something no one can argue with) the reasoning behind us hiding our weaknesses tends to get a bit blurry. In part it could be that we are in denial and don't want to admit something we struggle with. It could be that we aren't ready to tell anyone yet or it could be basic "hiding from preserves" mentality. I'm not saying any one of those reasonings is wrong. Just a mere observation. I, like everyone else around me have my own personal weaknesses. I struggle with getting approval from other people. Therefore having a knock on effect with how much confidence I have. I put all my eggs in one basket. The basket being other people's views on me and the eggs being my desire to be approved of and my self worth. I realise from recent events from the last year right up until a couple of weeks ago. The same thing that I've known for a while now. "No one thinks about you as much as you'd think" "no one really has your best interests at heart because we are all too busy looking after our own agendas, our own lives etc" It's the truth. Part of me has known this for sometime but it is a long road to fully realising it. But then I realised today, I have put so much emphasis on this "realisation" like an epiphany or moment of enlightenment. I've been practicing mindfulness like I mentioned in my previous blog post (how hipster do I sound right now tho? 😂) and have noticed that I wait for these moments of realisation. When the penny finally drops. I'll know something for ages like using "seeking approval from others" as an example. I'll watch this tendency mindfully but not change anything intentionally so as to allow myself to change slowly. I always remember Kyle saying to me "some people have to find the thing along the journey. Other people just decide to get it there and then" I've maybe mis worded what he said but I know in my heart what he meant. I'm deciding "why wait?" Today I'm deciding to live out not needing approval from anyone. It might be difficult at first but I'm going to switch my mindful intention to instead of watching my tendencies. To being the best version of me I can be. I'm less apologetic. I don't need to appologise unless I am genuinely in the wrong. I don't need to ask if I'm a slow worker, a bad friend, a terrible listener. I. Am. Me. And I am the best version of me that there can be.
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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