Here's the thing.
I got engaged recently. I've learned from friends that have planned weddings etc. that it is hard going, you have fall outs with people and it can be stressful times. People are always going to have an opinion about what you do/say. Who cares. I am a naturally apologetic person. I've come to realize the reasons for this and how this all started with me. I'm aware of it, and challenging it within myself as it happens. It hasn't changed over night. Each situation is completely different and sometimes I catch myself on time before I unnecessarily appologise, sometimes I catch myself too late. I find it hard not to care sometimes. But what I have realised lately is that for fundamentally important stuff; for instance it's important to me and my fiancé to have vegan food at my wedding instead of dead animal corpses. How much we will spend, what way we will do things. It's entirely up to us; we are paying for it. Therefore we will decide what the money pays for. My gran had a go at me yesterday because I'm not having "my own minister marry us" and how "it's all changed from my day". I cut her some slack as she's 84 and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. However, I did assertively explain to her that since my fiancé lives and works in England and I'm in N. Ireland working as a nurse full time including weekends. I don't belong to a church. Most ministers want couples to do a 6 week pre-marital course which of course due to long distance being a thing we cannot do a 6 week pre-marital course together as the flights would cost an arm and a kidney to pay for him to come home for one day a week for 6 weeks, when that money could be used elsewhere more efficiently. Course granny being granny reiterated that it has all changed from her day and of course to all older folk. Any change is bad change. XD I let it go after that. That's the approach I am taking from now on. Is say my part to nip the pass remarkable comments in the bud and if they want to ramble on then change the conversation to something more interesting... Like Cake. :D Like I've mentioned to them before people "mean well for you" until it affects their ulterior motives. I struggle with this because in all honesty because I love being happy for people and wishing them the best in life. I struggle to imagine life not being like this. Kyle says that he would be like this, unless it is to do with him, then why should he be happy. Sure he says congratulations and wishes people well but he isn't genuinely happy for people. The difference so many people are sneaky about it. If they are happy for you it is until something isn't going according to their plans. That's when you start having people nark on a wee bit about different things. I've had to learn to be a bit blunt about certain things. Sometimes something will catch me off guard and I'll not know what to say. I think my advice to anyone out there whose also engaged/getting engaged soon; is to make sure that you are on the same page as your other half. Make sure that you are both a united front about things that are important to you, discuss what you are willing to compromise on and things that you just won't budge on. Ugh feels good to get that out of my system ^_^
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AuthorI am a 25 year old nurse, who is trying to find herself. This blog will contain epiphanies I have, my yoga progress and other such things. Enjoy. :) Archives
March 2019
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